How long did you REALLY think I'd be able to stay quiet??? :o)

I kinda figured I had a few more blogs in me.  I guess I always have something to say, just not all at once.  Oh, who am I trying to kid?  I am an Aliverti...

It's been almost a month since Dad passed away.  I can't believe it's been that long already.  It was just yesterday, I swear.  I still talk to him daily, and I have seen little signs that let me know he's here with me.  I go visit his grave and spill my heart to him.  It's hard not to hear his voice answering back, but I know he hears me.  I know he answers me, too.  I just have to learn to listen.

It's been an interesting month, to say the least.  I think I have everything bill-paying/social security/Washington State Retirement related under control.  I think.  Just when I wade through it all, and find that yes, I do indeed actually have a desk under here, something else shows up.  That's the tough part.  I find myself elated that I'm near the end of the flotsam and jetsam that is Dad's desk, and then I'm completely overwhelmed when something else arrives in the mail.  I don't do well when I'm overwhelmed.  I tend to shut down.  Not the most efficient way to handle affairs - I so don't recommend it!  I'm working on that one (I'm almost sure it's the only) downfall that I have.  *smug grin*

Here's a little piece of advice, and I'm being serious here for a moment --  Write down for your loved ones somewhere, anywhere, your financial information.  You don't have to be specific in amounts, but list the banks that you have accounts at, and what type of accounts they are.  Any investments you have, or accountant or financial consultant(s), write 'em down.  Benefits you may be getting i.e. Social Security or retirement, put 'em on paper.  Dad was a meticulous record keeper, but things that he probably never thought to write down because they were everyday occurrences, had to be found the hard way.  This includes things like life insurance policies.  They were probably purchased (or whatever you do to start them) back when the Earth's crust was still cooling, and hadn't been thought of since.  Just write down anything you think might be important to know all in one place.  Oh, make sure and tell somebody where that list is, too.  Works much better that way!

The next bit of advice is having Power of Attorney for the remaining spouse.  Dad wanted us to do this for Mom before he passed, so we did.  Once again, Ed was right on (don't tell him I said that - I'll deny it).  Having POA for Mom has made so many things so much easier.  One of the main reasons was because she was co-whatever for everything.  As long as she was on it, we could deal with it.  Mostly.  There are always those exceptions (SSI for example) where you still have to fill this out, copy that in triplicate, notarize it, sign it, seal it, enrobe it in chocolate and put on the next Wells Fargo Wagon passing by.  But I am sure glad we had the POA - I'd still be mired in muck trying to get things done. 

Learn from my experiences - the above mentioned items will make things so much easier.  I know it's a grim subject to think about, but a necessary one.  Of course, this is just my opinion.  Everybody has their own views on things like POAs, etc.  Just do what works for you.

Now, to the reason I really came back here -

Tonight there was a benefit concert for Multiple Sclerosis Helping Hands (MSHH).  This is the show dad was working on pretty much up until the time he passed.  He was convinced he was still going to be singing and dancing on the 27th of February.  He just kept 'tweaking' the program to enable him to continue his involvement.  This meant rearranging music, changing staging, etc.  Unfortunately he wasn't able to fulfill this goal.  The fabulous people involved with this fundraiser did a wonderful thing - they made this concert a tribute to Dad.  The Seattle Jazz Singers and the Fantastic Stardust Follies made it a night to remember.  Dad's showpiece was Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera.  I still shiver when I hear his rendition of this song.  It stopped shows - it was that phenomenal.  Tonight's performance was unbelievable - they had a chair stage left, with a rose, a painting of roses with his Phantom mask attached to it and two candelabras.  The dancers performed to an all-instrumental rendition of the song.  They did not use a vocal track.  At certain perfectly placed moments, they brought attention to the empty chair.  It was breathtaking.  Needless to say I sobbed throughout the performance.  Sobbed is almost too gentle of a word.  Good thing I had a Dad hankie in my hands.  It was such a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man that sang wonderful songs.  I will always remember this night.  It was a night of joyous sounds filling the concert hall.

Dad would have been proud.

I head back to Alaska on Monday.  It's time to get back to my life and take care of my home and family.  It's been quite a time down here - one helluva rollercoaster, that's for sure.   I'm so blessed that I've been able to be here.  I have probably the best husband anybody could ask for and children that understand the meaning of family.  Family.  That's what's really important.  Dad's illness and passing have brought this family together.  I feel a closeness to my aunt and uncle that I'm so lucky to have.  I have a relationship with my cousins that I've sadly not really kept in touch with.  That's going to change.  The Aliverti girls have always been a tight group and they just got tighter.  They're my family.  MY family. 

Yup, I'm blessed.

Take care, and next time you hear from me, I'll be back in the frozen white north.  I'm going to miss this place.  And Taco Time.  Why, oh why, can't there be Taco Times in Alaska???  But, that's for next time.

Good night.

Leslie :)